He was probably 6 years old the first time I met him, just a scrawny little guy with big blue eyes and blonde hair - much the same as his little Madison looks this very day. Peter and I had just started dating and he took me over to meet his sister Teri, her husband Ken and their two boys Jason and Jeff.
We were both eager to please and impress, I wanted to be liked by my new boyfriend's family and I could tell Jeff wanted to be liked by his uncle's new girlfriend.
We spent a lot of time with Jason and Jeff - babysitting, taking them places, camping together etc. When Jeff was 11 his father died, Teri and the boys moved into a house on the same street we lived on - our house was two doors away from Peter and Teri's mom and they lived across the street from her. Our daughter Natalie was 2 years old at that time and I appreciated the break when Jason and Jeff would come over everyday to play with Natalie and visit with me - as the circle goes they babysat and spent a lot of time with our family which grew to include Pete and Matt just as Peter had with them.
It didn't stop when they became teenagers - we could always depend on them and they could depend on us. They were always welcome at our house and it was there that they would come to before a party, I would tell them how great they look, ask lots of questions - are girls going to be there? Peter would sneak them the odd beer!
I remember Grandpa firing him because he went on a delivery for the shop and stopped at my house for a visit. I think it was the same week Grandma fired him when the garage door he painted didn't meet her standards. It might sound bad, but when Jeff told the story complete with Russian and Polish accents we laughed our heads off!
To my children's delight they awoke many a Saturday or Sunday morning to find Jeff passed out on our couch because he was too drunk the night before to find his way home. I remember getting phone calls in the middle of the night to go pick up Jeff as he is drunk causing a raucous or getting a phone call to let us know he was in an accident drunk driving and opted for the police to take him to the drunk tank instead of going home... a bit of a rebel without a cause, but Jeff was much more than that.
Jeff was the type of person that everyone loved, he was very funny - everyone thought so - he would get on a roll about something or other and people (myself included) would laugh and laugh - you had to see him in action. His wit, charm and comedic timing made him irresistible
Jeff grew up to be very handy - there was nothing he would not attempt to fix or build himself. He was forever helping people get their projects done - whether it was plumbing, electrical, car trouble, etc. etc. honestly if you had a problem Jeff was your “go to guy”. I remember shortly after we moved into our current home I was away in Europe visiting Natalie and Peter decided to build a shed for the back yard. When I got home I of course hated the location he picked to sit it on as it was blocking my view out the family room ... thus ensued the typical argument among married couples "well I don't like it" "it can't be moved" "why not" "because it can't" "why not" "it weighs a ton" "there has to be someway" "get used to it, because it is not moving" "well I hate it" "you never like anything" and "back" and "forth" and "tit" for "tat" when we later talked about it in front of Jeff he would interject with "come on it is perfect there" "you did a great job Pete - I really like the deck you built to sit it on (adding 100 pounds to the thing)" "you can still see the creek a little" (all the while laughing at me, rolling his eyeballs and making funny faces - out of Peter's line of vision of course) until finally he would add "@$%# Pete, she’ll never stop *^&!@#$* you might as well move it" he came up with a plan (involving rolling it on top of poles and lots of muscle - thankfully Pete and Matt who were probably 19 and 20 at the time had grown up to be big and strong) - in the end it only took them 30 minutes! It is one of my best memories because in my mind's eye I picture Jeff solving my problem, making it happen and entertaining me all the while.
Although I think that might have been one of the last times he helped us before he passed away it certainly wasn't the first time - the first time happened one million times ago. All of them in typical Jeff fashion, never refusing us anything, fixing our problems while making us laugh the whole time.
Jeff married his high school sweetheart Cherie - Peter and I were both in the wedding party. As he settled into marriage and family life Jeff, Cherie and their two girls Jordyn and Madison spent many happy occasions with us. Whenever there was a celebration at our home or to do with our immediate family Jeff, Cherie and the girls were always included, when Cherie worked nights Jeff would often bring the girls over to pass the time – Jeff was a proud husband and father – he loved all three of his girls.
Life was as it should be until that day – I walked in the door and Peter said to me; Jeff - accident - ambulance...We no longer had Jeff - who would help us when we need it - who will fix things when they are broken – who would ever make us really laugh again?
It has been five years since Jeff’s accident - I miss him and I think of him everyday, when he died I literally felt like I had "shaken baby syndrome" my thought process wasn't working, my beliefs were no longer valid, my prayers went unanswered
I was numb, it was two years before I could really feel anything again, and then only because I had to.
No comments:
Post a Comment