Who I am ...but sometimes ...Who am I?

Well who am I?  I am a broken person.  I am soon to be fifty (yuk) but that is not what is really bothering me, what is really bothering me is I need to find myself and don't know where to start looking.

You might think I am some lonely looser - not true.  You might think I have been abused in some way - not true, well I guess that would really depend on how you define abuse - is it only abuse if it affects you in a negative and irreparable way?  Then no, except for the fact that I love sweets and candy and actually eat mostly junk, sometimes for breakfast, lunch and supper - but can I really at this age blame that on an 80 year old great uncle who use to bring me candy and as I sat beside him eating he would have his hand under my bum, moving his fingers up and down?  I was only five at the time, but I look back on it like it is some joke rather than the serious issue it is - I probably got off easy with that bastard.

I am broken because of events and tragedies that happened over the last couple of years - things that left me feeling like I had shaken baby syndrome - things that shocked and appalled me - things that broke my heart.

I am the twelfth of thirteen.